Dr Kristian Arn Albrechtsson

Doctor Kristian Arn Albrechtsson was a Swedish chemist, biologist, and entrepreneur most known for inventing the now-illicit drug compound known as Haemorrhoids.

Born in the Swedish coastal town of Luleå in 1816, Albrechtsson was raised by an acclaimed philosophical author and nurse, his father and mother, respectively. He had three younger brothers and one older sister, the latter of whom died young during childbirth. Albrechtsson achieved outstanding marks in school and graduated from Copenhagen University in 1841 with honours in chemistry and biology. In 1845 he bought a laboratory in the northern town of Kiruna after turning a profit as a stockbroker.

While conducting private experiments in his lab, Albrechtsson worked at an ironmongery. In 1856, he chose to make chemistry his full-time occupation, as he was experiencing success by selling 'enhanced' tobacco to nearby residents and tourists. He hired a small workforce, which, by 1875, amounted to around 40 people. In 1884, Albrechtsson decided to conduct a series of experiments involving chemically engineering a drug compound that combined methamphetamine, heroin, and lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD). He tried to find a chemically stable formula but failed several times. One morning, Albrechtsson woke up with swollen anal veins (medically known as haemorrhoids), and also with an undisclosed idea: a 'secret recipe' of sorts.

That day, he found the method of creating the perfect triple-drug hybrid, which the idea of Albrechtsson claims came from his haemorrhoids which gave him his 'Eureka' moment. In honour of his supposed inspiration, he named the drug  'Hemorrojder' . He sold the substance independently under the product name  'Albrechtsson's Hemorrojder' , with the slogan  'alla dör för att prova det'  meaning  'everyone is dying to try it'.

Shortly after releasing Haemorrhoids to sale for the first time, Albrechtsson passed away from a drug overdose, ironically from his own narcotic. His son, Jacob Thorsten Albrechtsson, eventually sold the recipe in 1889 to Swedish narcotics company Gerhardsson & Feldt, where it experienced major success. It then moved on to German company Verrückte Säfte, which sold it until the business's downfall in 1952, when Haemorrhoids became illegal.